She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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