Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
