turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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