I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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