Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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