So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When did angry sex become our thing?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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