sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i think my mom watched the whole time
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
where does the pee come out of this thing
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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