but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
