I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
