i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
