Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
