I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
