best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
