once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
