I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
