I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
