ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
