just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
