I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
