So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
