Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
