im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
