everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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