Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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