shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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