Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
