either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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