hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
