Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
