please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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