All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Even my vagina gasped.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
