wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
