It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
