It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Still dying that you shit outside
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
