At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
