hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
