dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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