I wanna passion pit in your ass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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