Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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