it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
