So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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