marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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