She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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