Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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