i need an iv and a liver transplant
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
