whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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