YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
