I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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