Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
