I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
