My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
